Albi and Bobby
My story began when i found out i was expecting, I didnt feel pregnant
at all and I didn't know how far along i was. Could the test be wrong
I was questioning myself?! So i booked a private scan.
The lady who done the private scan asked how old my daughter was as
she put the Doppler on my tummy I said 18 months she told us we was
going to have our hands full as we were expecting twins...
wow I was overwhelmed I didn't know what to think would I cope with
twins and a 2 year old. It took a while to sink in but once it did I
embraced the fact I was lucky enough to be having a journey with
twins and how special it was/would be.
A week later I had my hospital dating scan I lay on the bed as the
man was scanning me, he was telling us what everything was and what
twin was what and that they was non identical twins, then everyone's
worst nightmare he stood up and said he was going to get a more trained
scanner because he couldn't get a measurement off one of the twins,
anybody who has been there will know that your world is about to come
crashing down, you hear these things from other unfortunate people but
you don't expect it to happen to yourself, ever.
I tried to stay calm. Another lady walked in and said I don't need to
scan you I can see from the pictures there's something wrong with one
of the babies head and then went on to say it looked like a form of
spina bifida and to not google anything but I would return in a week
to see a consultant.
We went home absolutely devastated we was clueless had no idea what it
was or what was going to happen. I had to go online I couldn't sit for
a whole week not having any idea of anything. After lots of research I
self diagnosed that one of my babies had anencephaly a fatal illness that
occurs during development meaning the neural cord doesn't join meaning a
skull/brain won't form and he would not be compatible with life.
I returned to the consultant a week later she confirmed it was a correct
diagnosis and referred me to the specialists at Liverpool woman's hospital
for a week later and he confirmed it again and gave us our options.
At this point I knew i had two baby boys in my tummy who were perfect to
me dancing away all the times i had seen them on scan just one had an
abnormal head and it was visual on the scan but he had no genetic conditions
everything else was perfect.
I was 15 weeks and 3 days. The consultant said we had two options, with it
being twins there was risks on both sides so he told me we could either do
a selective reduction meaning inject poorly babies perfectly beating heart
for it to stop and him shrivel up to be born when healthy twin was born
which can only be performed before 16 weeks or after 30 weeks so there was
less risk of anything happening to healthy baby. Or to carry them both and
with poorly baby not being able to swallow in the womb I could carry more
fluid which could make me have them premature or he can pass away in my
tummy in which I would carry them until healthy baby is ready to be born.
Without a doubt: My only decision was to carry them both. Every bodies
choices are different and everyone would deal with the situation in there
own way but for me, feeling him in my tummy and seeing him moving on scan
that was not an option. I loved them both as equal as each other and so I
told my consultant my wishes would be to meet them both together and make
lots of memories in his short little life he's going to have and that I
decided i wanted to donate his perfect little organs when he fly's to help
other poorly babies.
So with my plans in place after 24 weeks I was being monitored/scanned every
2 weeks it seemed like everything was going as smooth as it could and I
received my c-section date for the 13th November(36+2). At my 28 week scan
it was evident Albi had polyhydramnious (extra fluid) which wasn't a problem
because it wasn't affecting me yet.....
In the upcoming weeks I grew an awful lot and I was in agony my kidneys, my
back, couldn't sleep and was struggling breathing. When I went for my next
scan Albis fluid had increased quite a lot! Albi was definitely the most active
one and every scan we couldn't get pictures of bobby because he was so squashed!!
My consultant was reluctant to drain it mainly for Bobbys sake as the best place
for him was in my tummy for as long as possible and it could of made me go into
premature labour, it would of also ruined my wishes for donating so they prescribed
me codine to try and subside the pain.
My scans were weekly at this point but I returned earlier as the pain was too
much I couldn't function, he still wouldn't drain any fluid but instead he said
he could move my c section date forward to the 5th November. I was over the moon
about this but the problem then was that I was unable to donate Albis liver cells
as he had to be a gestational age of 36 weeks.
I was so torn on what to do: live with excruciating pain and try and make it to
36 weeks when the chances of me going in to spontaneous labour was more likely
anyway with the amount of extra fluid he carried.
But then he told me that I could still donate his heart valves so I was made up
that My Albi could still potentially live on in someone else. My consultant
then contacted the donation team to see if there were any requirements... there was!
He had to be a certain weight, he hadn't been weighed in a few weeks so with that
we went back through to the scanning room. He was no where near the weight and
with my c section only being less than a week away he would of never made the
weight and wouldn't have even if I went to my first section date.
That day I went home still in pain and emotionally drained the whole day was
full of ups and downs, my whole pregnancy I was so determined to make a positive
come from a negative meaning my Albi potentially saving another poorly baby/persons life!
Bed time arrived I just couldn't sleep my pain was immense it got to 2am on 1st
November (34+4) so I woke my partner up and phoned the hospital they told me to
have a warm bath and take painkillers (which I'd already done) and to call back
in an hour if it's any worse. I phoned my mum she instantly said we're going through.
The drive was about 45mins, the best thing I done was listen to her that night!
We arrived at the hospital they put me on a machine to find the heart beats she
struggled, I thought Albi was very calm that night maybe the contractions could
of startled him I don't know. As she went to do an internal examination she said
'oh I can see baby' at this point it become a bit of a blur a whole team come in
one putting the canula in one putting my socks on one giving me the lung developer
injection, I was 8cm!!
My baby boys arrived, Bobby first at 4.46am and Albi second at 4.50am on the 1/11/2018.
Albi carried 8 litres of fluid around him which explained my pain.
They were both so perfect, Albi grew his wings 2 hours later. I kept him with us
for 4 days in a cold cot I didn't want to part with him but I felt that if it wasn't
that day then it was never.
Not a day goes by that I don't wish he was here with his brother, a lot of people
say it wouldn't be as harsh because I still have the joy of another baby but the
truth is it's worse! everyday I look at Bobby and wonder if Albi would of been
like him or completely different...
*watch my story on BBC
I will be happy to talk to anyone,
Last updated July 10, 2019
