Anthony Jr.

My name is Karie Sandiford. I was 15 years old and my boyfriend 16 when I found out I was pregnant, I thought it was a crazy thing and never thought I would get pregnant. As my pregnancy went on, I was having some complications; I was in and out the hospital.

One day, when I was 5 months pregnant with Anthony, my pains were so bad, I decided I would go to the hospital again. As I was laying in the hospital bed, they came and let me listen to Anthony's heartbeat, the first time I got to hear it, they said they wanted to do a sonogram, but wouldn't let anybody in there with me. That sounded kind of weird but I wanted to see my baby, so it was okay. They were taking measurements and a lady said she had to go check them one more time, and I didn't think anything about it.

I went back to the room, and was sitting there and started to get worried, the nurse came in and told me she had very bad news for me and she was sorry to have to tell me this, but my Anthony had be diagnosed with anencephaly.

I had NO IDEA what on earth those words meant, so I continued to listen and all I could get out of her words was that my Anthony was going to pass away during birth, after birth or while in my belly. I was scared to death. Tony, the baby's father, and I looked at each other and didn't know what to say to each other. All we could do is cry. Tony had wanted a baby for so long and when we found out that I was pregnant with our little Miracle he was so happy, it was unexplainable. When he heard those words come from those nurses he couldn't even get any words out.

They told me I needed to find me an OB/GYN as soon as possible, and they were trying to go ahead and end my pregnancy. I didn't have insurance right at the moment. I told Tony that I wouldn't be able to do that to a precious baby, much less my little angel Anthony. They continued to tell me that Anthony wouldn't even make it through the pregnancy, but I insisted on continuing with the pregnancy.

As the pregnancy went on, my doctors were so negative and didn't care about Anthony. Tony and I grew closer and closer to Anthony throughout the pregnancy. Tony would talk to Anthony every night as if he was already born and home with us. Anthony would always kick for his daddy, and only his daddy. All Anthony would have to hear is Tony's voice and he would kick away.

I began to research about anencephaly. I found out a lot of information from other mothers from all over. They gave me some information I would have never found myself. I decided that I wanted to have a c-section because while I was researching, I read that babies with anencephaly born by c-section tend to live a little bit longer, and I wanted to do that to give Anthony the best chances.

The day Anthony Loren Guinn Jr. Was born, I was terrified. Scared to death, told myself I couldn't do this yet. I wasn't ready to have Anthony, and lose him so quickly. But I wanted to see my angel's face. While laying there on that bed/table I closed my eyes for a split second and I couldn't see anything but white and this man that was so far away, and he told me "your Anthony will be okay, I will take care of him, I'll make sure you'll have time with him". I didn't recognize the voice and couldn't see the man clearly. Then I thought GOD was just talking to me.

I laid there waiting to hear Anthony cry and waiting for my doctor to show him to me, Tony told me they had Anthony out. I didn't hear him cry, but just at that moment, I heard my angel cry. It was the most amazing feeling I ever had.

While holding my little Anthony he made me feel like it was all a dream. I looked past his anencephaly; he was just like a normal baby to me.

Anthony lived for 7 hours and 53 minutes.

I have so many memories with my Anthony. He had difficulties breathing, but he was a strong little baby. He smiled like a normal baby, played with his hands like a normal baby; basically he was a normal baby!

The doctors were really hard on me. They didn't give me what I wanted for baby Anthony, I wanted to feed him, and all they would give me is sugar water. Anthony and I played with the water, and he drank some of it. He played with his catipillar, and loved his little blankie, and hated hats. He wouldn't keep one on for anything, so I let him have his way.

When he heard his daddy's voice, he would start breathing.

Anthony passed away in my arms, while his daddy was right there with us.

Losing Anthony was a really hard thing, but I knew he was going to a better place and would be looking down on me, and he was joining the other angels. For a couple of hours after his death, it was really hard on me, but I got to thinking I shouldn't be crying. I need to stay strong for Anthony, just like he stayed strong for his mommy and daddy.

Anthony is deeply missed, but is in a way better place. I cherish every memory I have with Anthony. He is forever in his mommy and daddy's heart.

If anybody would like to talk, I am always here,

See more pictures of Anthony on the picture page

Last updated March 26, 2019